THE TRUTH IN PRINT
February 2004, Vol. 10: Issue 1
A Publication of the Valley church of Christ
2375 W. 8th Street, Yuma, AZ 85364
(928) 539-7089

You say correctly, "It's not a marriage."

By Bob Lovelace

Note: The follow brief article was submitted to the Yuma Sun as it seemed appropriate considering the comment that is quoted below.

Editor, the Sun. With regard to the article, "Long lines…as same-sex couples prepare to register in Ohio" (Jan. 26, 2004). The following statement made by one of the two male individuals who could hardly wait to register as domestic partners was indeed correct. He said, "It's not a marriage." Marriage as God ordained it is correctly set forth by these words from Jesus, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." One of society's grave failures is the falling short in learning about and implementing the use of marriage to prevent sexual immorality. The New Testament teaches, "…because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." If one has the right to marry and they cannot contain themselves then they should be allowed to marry, Paul said. This is stated with the understanding that such a union of husband and wife will be approved of before God and not just accepted by man and initiated by civil decree. A chief purpose of marriage is the fulfillment of the natural and lawful sexual desire in the place (relationship) God intended - Marriage! Have you ever wondered why "fornication" is almost a lost word in the vocabulary of young adults? No doubt it is connected with society's failure to comprehend that God gave marriage for the lawful fulfillment of man's sexual desire. People in general do not use a word that is self-incriminating; they choose to incorporate into their vocabularies that which is self-justifying rather than condemnatory. For example no one who is shacking up with that "significant other" walks around bragging about his or her "fornication partner." Fornication is sexual intercourse between unmarried people. However, changing terms does not change the nature of the act! When one refers to another as their "domestic partner" they've essentially said the same thing about themselves, and their partner, as one who brags about their "significant other." But both designations actually refer to live in relationships that are not marriage. Just like the fellow said, "Its not a marriage." The Bible says, "Flee fornication!"

End of article - Note: For the significant verses please read Matthew 19:3-6; I Cor. 7:2, 9; I Cor. 6:18.

Question: Where do we go from here, I.e. from where America is today as regards our children and the influence that fornication has in our lives? And what would we ask and expect of our children should they make acquaintances among those whom they know are actively participating in premarital sex? This is going to happen after they graduate from High School. It is almost inevitable that our children are going to become in some fashion and to some degree acquainted with the fornicators of this world. Paul said, "I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: [10] Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world" (1 Cor. 5:9-10 (KJV)).

   First, we must continue to impress upon each of them the importance of their own personal example, being Christians. Consider what it means to speak, exhort and rebuke with the things that befit sound doctrine:

Titus 2:1-15 (KJV)
    "But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: [2] That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. [3] The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; [4] That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [5] To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. [6] Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. [7] In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, [8] Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. [9] Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; [10] Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things. [11] For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, [12] Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; [13] Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; [14] Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. [15] These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.."

   Second, we must continually impress upon them (for they are young and still need our wisdom) the fact that the danger of the world's influence concerning such things as drinking, fornication, clubbing, the use of filthy language, movies and music is very real and quite near! (read I Jo. 2:15-17). It only takes one step into any one of these and then, from there, one can quickly find themselves engaged in all the sinful world has to offer. Hear Paul, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. [13] Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. [14] And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. [15] Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. [16] What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. [17] But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. [18] Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [19] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [20] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Cor. 6:12-20 (KJV)).

Third, what are we telling our children that they as Christians should be doing to help when at times they know young adults engaged in such? Offering the following as a beginning, may we encourage you to use this article to talk with your own:
1. We should tell them that they should be concerned about their friends "souls," and thus not being ashamed of the Gospel introduce them to the Gospel of Christ (Rom. 1:16).
2. Parents should tell their children that they should never stay over, or go over, where they know such is taking place as this can be the first step to their own seduction (read and explain Ps. 1:1-5 with both negatives and positives).
3. Talk to them about peoples' foolishness in making promises they do not keep when it comes to sex.
4. How could you apply, "It is not a marriage" as it relates to others than just that context for which it was initially written?

NOTE: Concerned reader, to learn more about New Testament church go to "Fundamental Lessons on the Church," Lesson One," "The Establishment of the Church" on this website listed below. This article may be accesses from our Article Index. Simply scroll down until you find Fundamental Lessons on the Church, Lesson One. Or, you may click: