What Some “Only” See
By Bob
Lovelace
Most members of the church are familiar with Ephesians 5:22-33. This is
the great chapter on Christ and the church that presents the relationship
between husbands and wives as it ought to be. I should say as God would have it
to be. It says a lot and a lot has been said about what it says. It has been
taught in bible classes by capable teachers of the word to both young and mature alike. It has been preached throughout the land by
ministers of the Gospel. I dare say that when it comes to the “family” that
this one chapter is used more often than any other and just think of the many
points that it has to offer.
To give you easy access to this consideration I’ve included the text
here. Please don’t look ahead to end of
this article for what some “only” see. Do read this with the attitude of mind and heart
that James speaks of when he says, “Therefore putting aside all filthiness and
all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which
is able to save your souls.” (James 1:21)
Ephes. 5:22-33
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [23]
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body. [24] Therefore as
the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be
to their own husbands in every thing. [25] Husbands, love your wives, even as
Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might
sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he
might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or
any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. [28] So ought
men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth
his wife loveth himself. [29] For no man ever yet
hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: [30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his
bones. [31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall
be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. [32] This is a great
mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. [33] Nevertheless let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
What are the various points that we are
directed to as we think about Christ and the church, and husbands and wives?
1. The wife is to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord.
“Submit”: hupotasso,
Greek 5293, Strong’s, hupotasso, hoop-ot-as'-so; from Greek 5259 (hupo)
and Greek 5021 (tasso); to subordinate;
reflexive to obey :- be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue
unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit
self unto.
2. The husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
3. Jesus is the Savior of
the body, the church.
4. As the church is subject to Christ so let wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Perhaps you as a wife need to meditate
upon that word “everything” here and compare it with your subjection. Is yours a “so called” subjection lacking in some
things? Which is it? What is the truth? Is “everything” your problem?
“Everything” suggests
that with a godly wife submission is not a problem in anything! (This excludes
of course whenever a husband would require that she disobey her Lord. That’s
really what this is about ~ obedience to Christ as our Head.) Do you submit to
your husband as your head in just “some” things and do as you like in other
things freely admitting that’s what you do?
It says “as the church is unto Christ.”
One’s eternal salvation comes into view as we know that we
must submit to Christ or else be lost eternally!
5. Husbands are to love
their wives as Christ loved the church. Paul puts the purity of the church with this point.
Christ has sanctified and cleansed it by the washing of water with the word.
For some reason God’s word isn’t as important as it should be to some when it
comes to marriage. “Love” here is “agapao, Greek 25, Strong’s agapao, ag-ap-ah'-o; perhaps from agan (much)
[or compare Hebrew 5689 (`agab)]; to love (in
a social or moral sense) :- (be-) love (-ed).
Compare Greek 5368 (phileo). The word “love”
points to a husband’s “duty” to love her.
He will fulfill the obligations God has set forth for husbands towards
wives. This includes such obligations as that of headship, working to provide
for her and their family, the tender care and concern as set forth here in
these scriptures, and commands elsewhere such as in I Cor. 7:3. He fulfills
these because it is his “duty” to love her as God directs. And he will be
blessed as he does these things.
6. Husbands are to love
their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
He will nourish and cherish her just as the Lord does the church. The
word “nourish” here: ektrepho, Greek 1625, Strong’s ektrepho, ek-tref'-o; from Greek 1537 (ek) and Greek 5142 (trepho); to rear
up to maturity, i.e. (genitive) to cherish or train :- bring
up, nourish. And the word “cherisheth”: thalpo, Greek 2282, NASB thalpo; a
primitive verb; to warm, hence to cherish :- cherishes(1),
tenderly cares(1).
Marriage set forth in Ephesians five is more than a practical solution
for physical lust or desire (I Cor. 7: 9).
Many husbands “quit” treating their wives properly immediately upon
completion of the wedding and consummation of the marriage. In just a few days they show themselves to be
self-serving, egotistical and harsh. Being foolish through sinful lusts and
pride “this” kind of concern for their mate’s development along with the tender
care and affection that is necessary to build a marriage does not concern them. And they always
have trouble as a result!
7. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
8. Each wife is to see that
she respects her husband.
She respects the position that God gave to the husband as the head of the
wife.
This is written in such a way that Christ as our Head and our submission
to Him is foremost. We are to keep our own salvation in mind as we read this
and also consider carefully the way we conduct ourselves as husbands and wives.
Perhaps you need to read the verses again and underscore the statements that
present Christ as your head which necessitates your submission and obedience to
Him! Why is it that some seem to think that the way
they conduct themselves as a husband or wife has no bearing on where they will
spend eternity?
Now, what do some “only” see in Ephesians 5:21-33? Sadly, some husbands “only” see
SUBMISSION! There is so much more there that God requires but that’s all they
see. One wonders how they can “see” the necessity of their own wife submitting
to them but they cannot “see” the necessity of their own submission to God’s
word? They can be lazy but man do they see submission. Or they can be harsh but
they still see submission. The sexual
relationship can have no tenderness and romance inter-related with it but they
see what?
Equally
distressing is the fact that some wives “only” see LOVE! He is to
“love” me and not be bitter against me (Col. 3:19). He has to love me! In fact
many only see “love” as they saw love before they married. The “love” before
she married him did not require her to do what? It did not require her to
submit for he was not yet her husband. Love in marriage without headship is not
Bible love.
Additionally, dear reader, I Peter teaches that men who “do” see the
necessity of this submission “can” see the necessity of their own initial
submission to Christ and obeying Him in baptism. (I Peter 3:1-2)