THE TRUTH IN PRINT
March 2003, Vol. 9: Issue 2.
A Publication of the Valley church of Christ,
2375 W. 8th Street,
1-928-539-7089
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Bible Endings To Torn
Relationships
By Bob W. Lovelace
Some relationships in the Bible end in tragedy. I'm going to give
you an example of such. Other relationships recorded that are torn end in
reconciliation and with commendations. I'll also give you an example of these.
These examples are fundamental Bible lessons. They help us to properly
understand the importance of entreaty and reconciliation for our own
relationships while equipping us to help others.
I. Cain And Abel, Genesis
4.
Both Cain and Abel are grown at the time that they bring their
sacrifices as recorded in Genesis chapter four. Immediately afterwards we learn
of God's displeasure with Cain. Here Cain, rather than humbling himself, chose
to turn his displeasure upon his brother Abel. The Bible says, "And in process of time it came
to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the
Lord. [4] And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the
fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: [5] But
unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and
his countenance fell. [6] And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? [7] If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if
thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto
thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over
him. [8] And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they
were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew
him" (Genesis 4:3-8).
We note here that Cain could not hide his displeasure towards his
brother. In spite of God's gracious entreaty in verses six and seven, Cain was unwilling to accept God's help. The "IF" lesson is short but gets to the point. If
Cain chose to do well he would be accepted. However, to do well he would have
to retrace his steps, consider his ways, realize and accept his wrong doings,
rid himself of hatred towards his own brother, ask for forgiveness and offer
acceptable worship to God from that day forward. Since he did no so choose
"sin lies at the door," God says. Sin took control over him and Cain
murdered his brother. Yes, some situations end in tragedy without any
reconciliation whatsoever.
II. Esau And Jacob,
Genesis 25.
Esau foolishly sold his birthright but
Jacob took advantage of his brother by suggesting the sale to begin with.
Moreover, as we learn more
about this relationship we find that Jacob went on to deceive his own father in
order that he might steal Esau's blessing (Gen. 27). Isaac's own words to
Esau were, "Your brother came with deceit
and has taken away your blessing." The Bible says, "And Esau hated
Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said
in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay
my brother Jacob. [42] And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger
son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth
comfort himself, purposing to kill thee. [43] Now therefore, my son, obey my
voice; and arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to
Haran; [44] And tarry with him a few days, until thy brother's fury turn away;
[45] Until thy brother's anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which
thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should
I be deprived also of you both in one day?" (Genesis
27:41-45).
Here again we read of an incident where one was intent on
murdering another. Thankfully, upon Jacob's return to Canaan following Jacob's
twenty years of serving Laban there is
reconciliation between the two brothers (Gen. 33). To Jacob's amazement the
Bible says,
" And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his
neck, and kissed him: and they wept" (Genesis 33:4).
After some twenty years we see how chastisement (Jacob had to spend
twenty years with the master deceiver, Laban.),
repentance and family ties make forgiveness and reconciliation easier than
Jacob thought it would be. Moreover, at this point we see Jacob
"giving" rather than taking by craft, and I might add giving
abundantly. Esau on the other hand is satisfied with his blessings in life and
the former hatred is gone. Some years later
their father Isaac dies as life would have it and the two brothers are together
at his burial (Gen. 35:29). This shows the reconciliation was complete. Thus a
relationship once torn has ended in reconciliation and with commendations.
III. Saul And David, I
Samuel.
Several things transpired in king Saul's life prior to the time
when he set young David over his men of war after David slew Goliath (I Sam.
18:5). For one, Saul had been told that his kingdom would not continue and it
would be given to a better man (I Sam.
In I Sam. 18 we see the same pattern of displeasure in Saul as we
have seen in the former relationships in this brief study. No doubt he is
thinking of all that he has been told before about his
kingdom not lasting. We are told that Saul is afraid of David (I Sam. 18:12.).
In torn
relationships where one is righteous and another wicked and full of hate such
is often the case. Thus Saul demotes David to being a captain of a thousand (
help he sets the plot by informing David that one hundred foreskins of the
Philistines will be a fine dowry paid to the king for his daughter (read Pr.
29:12). David skillfully gets the dowry without being killed and he gets his
wife too! Saul is more afraid of David than before as he understands God's providence
to be with David, thus he becomes David's perpetual enemy from this point
onward (
In this torn relationship reconciliation is never achieved. In
fact, it is impossible because of Saul's hardened heart. David would flee from
Saul yet continue to spare Saul's life until such a time as Saul takes his own
life, having been wounded in battle.
IV. Paul And Barnabas,
Acts 15.
In Acts
an example of two settling a disagreement without having to get the church
involved. The Gospel works contrary to the world's philosophy that two can only
agree to disagree about men. Paul later held up Barnabas with regard by his
reference in I Cor. 9:6. Moreover, Mark was with him in his imprisonment as a
fellow laborer (Col. 4:10; Philemon 24; also read Paul's statement to Timothy,
2 Tim.
Be on guard against giving way to anger
towards another where the work of the Gospel is the issue.
V. Euodia & Syntyche, Phil. 4:2-3.
Here are two members (sisters) of the local church at
Goals For Entreating:
1. To be of the same mind, Phil. 2:2.
2. To be at peace, I Th.
3. To understand the outcome of dissension. It strengthens the enemy of the
gospel; the weak when pulled in to dissensions are caused to stumble.
4. To repent and return to the work, Rev. 3:19-20.
5. To use with older men, I Tim. 5:1.
6. To implement with God's wisdom which is easy to be entreated, Ja. 3:17-18.
Thus one is to be both approachable and
easily persuaded to do that which is right.
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NOTE: If you are
looking for "the church" that you read about in your New Testament
then you will find an in depth study of that very church right here on our
website, Fundamental Lessons on the Church.
Just click here for
Lesson One.